Powerless
by LMELMK-1970
Summary: What would you do if you were losing the love of your life and there wasn't a thing you could do to change it? Find out what happens when Jace is in that exact situtation will he bargin with the devil to keep from losing what he never thought he'd ever have in the first place - LOVE?
1. Chapter 1

Powerless: Chapter One

The infirmary at the Institute was deathly quiet. The harsh quiet was unnerving to Jace as he sat beside Clary's bed gently tracing the now fading healing rune on her forearm. He could see the tell tale remnants of the same marking stretched out over her collar bone where not more than two days ago she had been attacked by a Croucher Demon on what they expected to be a simple walk through Central Park. Neither of them had been quick enough to thwart the attack as the demon seemingly came out of nowhere. By the time he had pulled the dagger from his belt, the thing had already sunk its claw like fingers into Clary's shoulder ripping a sizeable gash. Clary's red blood spilled out soaking her thin gray tee shirt and for Jace the rest of the events played out in some sort of slow motion until its black ichor spread over the soft blades of grass and folded in on itself disappearing with a grotesque shriek back to whatever demon dimension it called home.

"I'm sorry," Jace said in a raspy whisper. He found it quite odd to be saying those simple words, words that he had always found useless when those from the mundane world uttered them about things that were beyond their control, yet there he sat saying them just the same. It was then that he felt Clary's cool hand reach up lacing her fingers through his. He let out a heavy sigh unaware that for the last several hours it was if he had been holding his breath.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," she said with a soft undertone in her voice as her eyes slowly started to open.

Jace looked up to see her beautiful clear green eyes looking back at him. "How are you feeling?" he asked with caution in his tone.

"Better," Clary replied.

He felt an eerie sense of déjà vu as the words fell off his tongue seeing as just a day prior he and Clary had had a quite similar conversation. Running his slender fingers against her cheek, she still felt warm and that concerned him. "Are you sure?" he questioned arching his brow.

"Yes, I'm fine," Clary insisted as she hoisted the weight of her body onto her elbows. Yet Jace wasn't buying it. Instantly he saw her face blanch and could read from her expression that she was doing what she could to fight of another wave of lightheadedness.

"Easy," he said as he gently, though with enough force for Clary to know he meant business, guided her head down against the stiff white pillow. "You want to try that again, how are you feeling, really?"

Clary knew that not only was she a terrible liar but that Jace could read her like no other person had ever been able to, not even Simon. But the last thing she wanted to do was further worry him. She could see by the deep set black shadows under his golden eyes that he had already lost sleep. "I think I just tried to get up too fast." She hoped that that would be enough of an explanation. It certainly wasn't a out and out lie, perhaps a half truth.

Clary rolled over on her side and patted the edge of the bed indicating she wanted Jace to join her. Shaking his head he did as she wordlessly asked, still not really believing that it was the mere swiftness of her movements that brought on her pallor. "Please don't worry. I'm fine. Really I am." Her voice pleaded with him.

Again Jace stroked her face softly, before leaning in and brushing his lips against her. "I am sorry. I should have been…."

Clary put her finger to his mouth silencing him. She knew what he was about to say and for her his apology was unnecessary nor wanted. "Sshhh," she murmured. "You did nothing wrong. What happened in the park is part of what being a Shadowhunter means. I knew that when I decided I wanted to be one. I am willing to take the risks."

Jace looked at her and wondered - was he willing to take those risks when it came to her life? He had never once before questioned what it meant to be a Shadowhunter, that they died young for a reason, yet the thought of Clary dying - at any age left him paralyzed. With that thought he tightened his grip on her hand as he pushed away a strand of fiery red hair that fell across her face.

"Are you hungry," he asked doing what he could to silence the nagging voice at the back of his mind that repeatedly cautioned that something just wasn't right with all of this. He couldn't shake the sensation that the healing irtaze should have worked immediately and that Clary shouldn't have needed a second.

"No, not really," she told him. "Would you lay with me?" she asked while pulling him against her not giving him the chance to protest or to see the wave of nausea that passed across her features.

There was little if anything Jace could refuse her so he easily allowed himself to be drawn into Clary's delicate arms his eyes resting once more on the rune that like the one drawn two days before had nearly disappeared now. He laid there quietly as she played with the soft curls at the nape of his neck enjoying the way her fingers felt against his skin. He had never expected to love someone as completely as he loved Clary. In all honesty he hadn't thought he was capable of it yet now he couldn't conceive of going back to a world where loving her wasn't a part of him. "I love you, Clary Fray," Jace whispered kissing her hand that was now draped across his chest.

"I love you too, Jace," she returned her tone matching his soft one. "Please don't worry," Clary asked again. "I am really okay." She hoped that he would believe her and allow himself to relax just a bit. Every muscle in his body felt like it was spring loaded and Clary hated more than anything that she was the cause of it all.

Jace's simple response to her comment was to kiss her hand again and draw it in close against his chest. He couldn't bring himself to agree with her just yet. He was sort of in a holding pattern of waiting to see what was going to happen next. The pair settled into a comfortable silence as the setting sun just outside the Institute cast a orange red halo throughout the large infirmary.

It wasn't until he felt the steady rise and fall of Clary's chest and knew she was asleep that he disentangled himself from her arms. Looking down at her sleeping form, Jace saw the traces of perspiration on her brow. In wiping it away his fingers were met with the heat that radiated from her. He wondered why he hadn't felt that when they were laying side by side. The knot in his stomach grew tighter as the sinking feeling took a greater hold over him. Withdrawing his stele, Jace began to draw the healing rune once more however he stopped short. What made him think that the third one would have made any difference when the first two hadn't seemed to help Clary in the least. There was definitely something wrong whether she would admit it or not.

"How's she doing?" Jace had been so caught up in his own thoughts that he hadn't even heard Alec enter the room.

All Alec needed to do was take one look at his friend's face and he knew the answer to that question without Jace even opening his mouth. "I don't know," he finally answered exasperated. "The runes aren't working at least I don't think they are."

Alec rested his hand on his friend's shoulder searching for the right words. Jace was always so cock sure of himself and for Alec to see him so indecisive now pained him. "Maybe we should get Magnus," Alec suggested. "He might be able to determine what's happening to Clary." Alec knew that Jace and Magnus were in no way friends, no matter what his relationship might have been with the High Warlock of Brooklyn, but Alec also knew that Jace would have done anything for Clary even if it meant excepting help from an unlikely source.

"Call him," Jace said as he sat down again in the chair adjacent to Clary's bed and watched her sleep praying to the Angel that his love was going to be all right.


	2. Chapter 2

Powerless: Chapter Two

Clary's sleep was filled with fits of restlessness. Jace watched as she tossed and turned the crisp white sheets of the infirmary bed getting twisted between her thin legs. He ran his hand across her arm hoping that somehow his touch would sooth her and for a time it had yet not enough to truly quiet her endless movements.

He swallowed hard around the golf ball sized lump that had come to rest at the back of his throat. Sitting and doing nothing was certainly not Jace Lightwood's style. He was used to taking charge and being in control however at that very moment he knew he was anything but. It was a sensation that was completely foreign and most definitely unsettling.

Jace glanced at the door for what felt like the hundredth time waiting to see Alec and Magnus entering the infirmary. "What the hell's taking them so long?" he said to the vast emptiness of the room. He was well aware of the fact that Magnus had little use for him and admittedly the feeling was mutual but Jace knew that the Warlock had an affection for Clary. He had basically watched her grow up in the years that her mother had brought her to him so he could continue blinding her sight. Jace was confident that Magnus would show, but he was less sure that anything he might do was going to help. Jace wished he could shake the ominous feeling that clouded his every thought.

In the distance finally he heard the soft foot fall of Magnus and Alec heading towards the slightly open door. Jace immediately stood yet hadn't released Clary's hand from his own.

"I did my best to fill Magnus in on what's been happening but he wants to talk to you before he examines Clary," Alec announced. Jace looked down at his love's finally still form and Alec sensed that the last thing his _parabatai_ wanted to do was leave Clary's side. "I'll sit with her," he said.

Jace's golden eyes toggled between the pair and then at Magnus. "It's important that I understand what you and Clary encountered," the Warlock said as though the young Shadowhunter had asked him a direct question.

He was torn, desperate to help her but just as scared to leave her. "If she wakes…"

"I'll find you," Alec answered before Jace could finish his request. Reluctantly he gently released Clary's hand from his own. Alec glanced knowingly at Magnus as Jace bent down kissing her lightly on the forehead attempting to ignore the feverish way her skin felt beneath his lips. Magnus nodded almost as if reading Alec's silent thoughts and glanced at Jocelyn Fray's daughter knowing that he would do all he could to help her.

Jace fidgeted in front of Magnus his eyes continually drawn back inside the infirmary. The demeanor that he was displaying was so un "Jace" like that Magnus couldn't but help feel for the younger man. The Warlock knew what it was like to feel as though you were about to lose the one you loved more than your own life. In his immortality, Magnus had experienced similar situations more times than he cared to recount. "Jace," Magnus snapped his delicate fingers before the other man's eyes. "I need you to focus."

"What do you want to know?" Jace rubbed his hands over his weary face feeling as though any attempt at doing what Magnus asked would be in vain.

"Everything."

Jace told Magnus Bane of the events that had lead up to their being attacked, Clary's injuries and what he had done to heal them, or at least what he thought he had done. Jace was noticeably distressed as he described how much blood she had lost that afternoon in the park and the intense pain she was in at the site of her wound.

"But the healing rune," Magnus cut him off, "it took care of Clary's wounded shoulder and she was fine?"

"Did she look fine to you!?" Jace snapped.

Magnus held his tongue for a moment realizing that even though he knew Jace to be prone to a quick wit and sharp remarks this was different - stress and fear were getting the better of him. "What I mean is that after the initial rune was placed she recovered? That's what Alec told me. Is that not the case?"

"Yes…no," Jace let out an exasperated growl.

Magnus rested his hand tentatively on the Shadowhunter's shoulder. "I know this is difficult but it's important that I fully understand what's been happening to her if I am to help her."

"You're The High Warlock of Brooklyn for God's sake!" Jace spat. "Can't you tell from just looking at her she's sick. What's all this crap about having to talk to me first. That demon did something to her, something that apparently Alec thinks only you can fix. So fix it!"

Jace clenched his fists at his sides anger welling deep from within. He hated that nothing he did was helping Clary, hated that he had to depend on Magnus Bane, hated that Clary's life was in this man's hands.

The Warlock chose to ignore the younger man's outburst and continued with his inquiry. "Once the first healing irtaze was placed on her shoulder she initially recovered from the wound."

"Yes," Jace answered.

"And Clary appeared fine?" Magnus asked with a bit of uncertainty like he was trying to wrap his mind around it all.

"Yes," Jace's tone took on a sadness. "At first."

"What happened that caused you to place the second irtaze?"

Jace wrapped his arm around his waist and swiped his calloused fingers over his chin as the earlier images danced in his mind. Clary had insisted on training saying that she didn't want to be caught off guard by another demon as they had been in Central Park. He had tried to get her to see that things like that happen from time to time and it said nothing to her abilities as a Shadowhunter, in fact Jace was repeatedly astounded to the extent of her skills. Yet she would have none of his efforts in getting her to take it easy and rest for just a little while longer. He noticed how quite pale she looked that morning even though she insisted that she was fine.

Magnus cleared his throat compelling Jace from his memories. He continued on explaining that they spent a few hours training and everything with Clary appeared well. She was able to counter each and every one of his moves. Jace told of how the last thing she wanted to work on was balance and flips. She felt that if she had had better control in those areas she would have been able to avoid the Croucher Demon's protruding claws. So they scaled to the catwalk that led to large wooden rafters, where she and Jace began a sparring of sorts that would let her practice keeping her footing even under the most tenuous of circumstances. At first things were going well, Clary had been able to hold herself steady even after some rather difficult evasions but all of the sudden Jace watched as her steps faltered and he instantly reached to steady her. He felt the shakiness in her frame and gave her a quizzical look as if to ask if she was alright. Let's go again she had said forcing him to shake off the uneasy sensation that quickly settled into the pit of his stomach when she jabbed at him with the seraph blade. His reaction was quick and when Clary went for him again he was unable to catch her when her foot slipped off the side of the thick wooden beam.

Jace saw the glimpse of shock pass over her features as she fell towards the floor below with a great swiftness. Instantly he flipped off the rafter hoping to hit the ground before she did but that hadn't been the case. He landed mere moments after her and scrambled to where she lay motionless. He remembered yelling her name and was relieved when he was able to hear moan as she tried to right herself. Even now in retelling the events, Jace felt his pulse quicken with panic.

"She hit her head?" Magnus questioned.

"She told me no." Jace answered. "She claimed to just have had the wind knocked out of her."

"What happened next?"

"What do you think? I told her we were done training for the day." Jace's tone again was harsh and nearly caustic.

"Why the need for the second rune?" Magnus asked once more.

"She passed out in my arms," Jace's voice was full of anguish now. "I didn't know what else to do."

The Warlock could hear the desperation in the other man's tone. He could only imagine what this had to be like for Jace Lightwood. Magnus Bane knew very well the reputation the young Shadowhunter had and the fact that at the moment he wasn't able to do a thing to right his situation, to make Clary better, Magnus knew it had to be eating him alive. "I'd like to see Clary now."

"I would hope so," Jace spat.

Alec stood when he saw the pair returning to the confines of the infirmary. Clary's eyes were still closed and her body lay motionless on the bed. Joining Jace at the foot of the bed they both watched as Magnus' hands gently guided across Clary's slender frame. Alec felt Jace stiffen beside him when she let out a soft moan.

"What are you doing to her?" he said through clenched teeth. Magnus turned glancing at Jace with his cat like eyes giving him a look of warning.

"Jace." Alec touched his best friend's forearm as if to say Magnus was not hurting Clary.

"There still seems to be a far amount of demon poison in her veins. I will need you to collect a few things for me." Quickly he scribbled a list of various items and handed them to Jace.

"I'll go," Alec said reaching for the paper in Magnus' outstretched hand knowing full well that Jace wouldn't be going anywhere.

Alec returned quickly with the needed ingredients and the Warlock went about creating a potion of sorts. "She will need to drink this," he stated.

Jace moved to the side of the bed and softly sat down next to Clary brushing away the mated stands of crimson hair that fell against her face. "Clary," he whispered gently in her ear. "Clary, I need you to wake up." She stirred slightly. "Magnus is here and he has something that is going to help you."

He leaned forward and brushed his lips to hers and almost as if she had been sleeping beauty being awakened by the kiss of her prince Clary's eyes fluttered and slowly opened. She had a difficult time bringing her vision into focus at first but gradually the figures of Alec, Magnus and Jace came into view. "Jace," she said her voice nothing above a raspy whisper.

"I'm right here," he replied reaching immediately for her hand needing to have the feel of her skin next to his own.

"My head hurts," she announced for the first time acknowledging that she was anything less than fine.

"Magnus has something to help. Do you think you can sit up?" She nodded but as she tried to prop herself up on her elbows the room spun around her and felt as if she wanted to vomit. "Clary," the panic in Jace's tone filled the room.

"Here," Magnus handed Jace the small bowl containing the mixture he had prepared. "She needs to drink it all."

"Clary, Clary, stay with me," Jace instructed as he watched her eyelids begin to fall. He put his arm around her shoulders supporting most of her body weight and brought the white bowl to her lips. Jace watched as she consumed the concoction then laid her head gently on the pillow again.

"The best thing for her now is to rest," Magnus stated.

Jace reclaimed his position in the chair next to the bed and began stroking her cheek and running his fingers through the fiery red fan of Clary's hair.

"Thank you, Magnus," Alec said for both himself and Jace who was too centered on Clary to even look up.

"Walk me out?"

"Of course," Alec answered leaving Jace alone with Clary.


	3. Chapter 3

Powerless: Chapter Three

Magnus turned and looked at Alec as he reached the Institute entrance. The furrowed brow and drawn expression he saw on his partner's face mirrored Jace Lightwood's perfectly. At one time Magnus would have felt a twinge of jealousy knowing that Alec had once thought himself in love with Jace but no longer. The days of Alec hiding behind the safety net of 'loving' Jace were gone what Magnus saw now was purely the bond that the _parabatai_ ceremony and a life long friendship brought forth. He reached out and gave Alec's hand a gentle squeeze, "Call me if you need me," he said meaning not just concerning Clary's condition but for himself as well.

"I will," Alec returned with an embrace. A large part of him wanted to slip out and spend the night with Magnus in Brooklyn far away from the goings on between the walls of the Institute yet he wasn't able to bring himself to leave Jace, not until Clary was fully recovered.

"She should be fine," Magnus said as if he were reading Alec's thoughts. "You know as well as I do that there are times when a irtaze can only do so much when it comes to a demon's poison."

"I know," Alec's voice rang of exhaustion.

"Get some sleep," Magnus instructed. "I can't have my boyfriend looking like hell." He grinned his cat like eyes glinting with amusement.

Alec shook his head and smiled despite trying not to. "Thanks for coming."

"Anything for you." With that Magnus turned and headed out through the iron gate disappearing into the night clad streets.

Slowly Alec made his way back to the infirmary, stopping short in the doorway to study Jace his forehead resting on Clary's arm and if Alec hadn't known Jace as well as he had he would have sworn he could hear the soft sounds of sobs coming from his lifetime friend ~ brother. Instantly he felt the other man's pain wash over him like a wave breaking against the sand. He knew that there was nothing he could say or do to ease Jace's anguish especially when it came to Clary. From the very beginning Clary Fray had brought out something in Jace that in all the years he had been with the Lightwood's none of them had seen before. He came alive that fateful night when she haphazardly entered all their lives at Pandemonium. There had been a time he hated her for it too when his feelings of jealousy and being territorial had gotten the better of him but not any longer. Alec could see now that Jace was made for Clary as much as she was for him. They were two pieces that fit together perfectly.

He resisted the urge to enter the infirmary part of him knowing that Jace wouldn't even recognize his presence he was too caught up in his own thoughts and musings of what he could have done differently to have stopped this from happening in the first place.

"How is she?" Isabelle's soft voice startled him. Alec hadn't noticed his sister come up behind him.

"Magnus said there was still demon poison in her blood. He made something for her to take."

"Weren't you going in?" Isabelle asked when Alec turned beginning to walk away from the doorway.

"I don't know if Jace really wants company at the moment."

"What do you mean?" his sister gave him a rather odd look.

"I just think it's better if we leave him alone for now."

Alec couldn't put his finger on it but something in his gut told him that Jace wasn't ready for their company. And if he was honest with himself, he couldn't bare seeing Jace looking so despondent. This wasn't the Jace he was accustomed to seeing. Even when the odds were stacked against them Jace was always the one fighting his way out to get to the other side but now Alec didn't see that determination and that frightened him more than he cared to admit.

"Alec?" Isabelle's tone questioned him. "What is it? Is there something you aren't telling me? Did Magnus say something?"

"No. Magnus said with rest she would be fine."

"Then what's wrong?"

"I don't know. Probably nothing yet something about the way Jace is right now just tells me that," he paused for a second. "Forget it." With that he turned and disappeared into the dimly lit hallway that lead to the private quarters of the Institute leaving Isabelle to do nothing more than stare after him.

She peered into the infirmary and like Alec all of the sudden felt as though entering wasn't the right thing to do. The Jace she say there wasn't the version of him she had grown to know and love. Normally he was one of confidence and surety yet what Isabelle was seeing now was anything but those things. What she saw reminded her of what she looked like and felt when the Greater Demon had nearly fatally wounded Alec. However Magnus had been able to heal Alec and she knew that he was able to heal Clary too, but that didn't take away the panic of it all while it had been happening. She thought that's where Jace had to be right now; in fear for the girl he loved more than himself and fear wasn't a place Jace Lightwood was accustomed to living in.

Jace heard the faint sound of Isabelle's heels clicking off in the distance. He had sensed the both she and Alec were outside the infirmary earlier but he was relieved that neither had decided to enter. The last thing he wanted was to hear them ask again how Clary was if for no other reason than he hadn't answer. Picking up his head his eyes glanced at the small white bowl sitting on the bedside table. Magnus assured him that the mixture would cure her, so why couldn't he believe that? Magnus was The High Warlock of Brooklyn and had been around for eight hundred years he certainly knew his way around demon poisons.

The pale pinkish hues of dawn filtered through the arched windows of the infirmary casting bright shadows against the stark white walls and lit up Clary's pale features with an iridescent glow. Jace studied her carefully recalling the first time he had ever seen her. She had been beautiful then but he hadn't allowed himself to see it concerned more with what made her different from the rest of the mundane world. He hadn't been able to ignore her beauty for very long or the way he felt when she was near. As hard as he tried, Jace hadn't been able to break the hold that Clary Fray commanded over him. "I love you," he whispered quietly brushing his fingers across her forehead relieved that her skin felt cool beneath his digits. Maybe the worst was over he thought lacing his slender fingers through hers.

"Jace," her voice faint however his eyes were instantly drawn to her where he saw her thick lashes flutter as she squinted against the intense morning sunlight.

"Morning," he returned with the same soft tone moving her scarlet hair away from her face. The words to ask how she was feeling didn't easily pass his lips. Jace had asked them far too many times already with results none to his liking. For the moment he was content to sit quietly beside her reveling in the fact that to the naked eye she appeared to be fine.

"What time is it?" Clary questioned as she pressed her frame upward.

"Easy," Jace immediately stressed expecting the worst but it never came. A bit of relief tugged at him however he wasn't about to give in to it just yet. "It's early," he said finally answering regarding the time.

"How long have I been sleeping?" she asked rubbing the sleep from the corners of her eyes.

"A while." He paused for a moment hesitant to allow the next words to filter into the vast openness of the room. "How do you feel?" he finally forced himself to ask.

Clary paused for a moment to study his face and to choose her words carefully. She actually felt rather good but worried that no matter what she said Jace wouldn't readily believe it.

"Clary?" She sensed the panic that her silence had brought him by the alarm in his tone. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Easily she reached up and stroked his angular features with her hand. She felt Jace lean deeply into her touch. "I'm fine," she assured him as her fingers played with his bronze curls. "Really I am." She could tell by the less than reassured look playing across his features that it was going to take far more than just her words to convince him.

"I've heard that before," Jace said wearily.

"Please relax," Clary directed feeling his body tense as she turned to her side propping herself on her elbow to look at him better.

"You really feel all right? Not dizzy or queasy, nothing at all like that?" he questioned caressing her cheek softly.

"Yes, I feel good. Whatever Magnus did seemed to take care of whatever was happening," she replied eyes drawn to the small white bowl recalling the faint bitter taste of the liquid that The Warlock had prepared for her.

"He said there was still a far amount of demon poison in your blood."

"But the healing rune," she gave him a questioning look knowing that not all demon poison was easily taken of by an iratze, especially that of a Greater Demon, like the one that had attacked Alec but it seemed strange even to her that a Croucher Demon's poison would be so resistant.

"Perhaps I took too long in applying the original rune. The poison could have spread further than anticipated." Guilt hung on Jace's words as did the look of responsibility for what had happened clouded his golden features.

"It wasn't your fault. You can't protect me from everything."

He wanted to though. That's all he had wanted to do since the first time he had saved her from the Ravener Demon in the ransacked apartment in Brooklyn she shared with her mother. He had done what he could to cover his need to be near her, watch over her with words of finding The Mortal Cup but somehow that quest became secondary to her well being and his desire to be close to her.

"I should have known better. I have spent my entire life being schooled in…."

"Stop," she pressed her finger to his lips. "Please, stop. I don't blame you. What we do, what we are doesn't come without risk. You were the one who told me that in the first place."

"Yes," he agreed, "But that was before."

"Before what?"

"Before I had something to lose," he whispered dropping his forehead against the crisp white bed sheet wanting to shield his glassy eyes filled with unshed tears from Clary.

"Jace, look at me, please," she pleaded. He remained still as if trying to regain his composure before lifting his head to meet Clary's gaze. "There's a good chance this won't be the last time that I get hurt." She heard the sharp breath he drew in at her words. "This is my life now. A life that includes all of the things nightmares are made of but I wouldn't go back to being in the dark, not for a second. That would mean living a life where there was no Jace Lightwood. So if that means I have to fight a demon or two so be it. I love you and you are so worth the risks."

Jace had a difficult time wrapping his mind around those thoughts. He had never had anyone in his life, except for maybe Alec but he was his _parabatai _so Jace wasn't sure if that actually counted or not, who had ever meant the things that Clary had just said to him.

He leaned in and pulled her into his arms. He had no words to express the depth of his feelings for her. He could say I love you a million times and it would never be enough to truly convey what coursed through him since the day they met. She was a part of him and if he allowed himself to believe he too was a part of her.


	4. Chapter 4

Powerless: Chapter Four:

Jace stared up at the ceiling hands propping up his crown of golden tresses. It had been three weeks since he and Clary had encountered the Croucher Demon in Central Park. Thankfully Magnus' medicinal potion had been successful in clearing out the remaining poison the healing iratze hadn't. No matter how good she told him she was feeling Jace had spent the first week after it all happened hovering over Clary until he was pretty sure she wanted to kill him, yet he couldn't stop himself. The threat of losing her still hung heavy over his head. Those feelings were gnawing at him even now.

He knew Clary like a well worn novel, one that could be recited line for line without even turning a page. He could hear the lilt in her voice or the hitch in her breath each time she professed she was fine. He knew she wasn't. She was still so incredibly pale and tired so very easily however nothing he could do or say caused her to waver in her proclamation that she was anything but all right. It was maddening.

Swinging his long legs over the side of the bed, he heard soft footsteps he knew belonged to Clary before she ever appeared in his doorway. He caught his breath at the sight of her standing before him in her jeans and jade green tee shirt that only served to deepen the color of her eyes and was a sharp contrast to the creamy color of her skin. Her hair hung in soft red waves gently grazing her shoulders, instantly he yearned to tangle his fingers through the curls.

"Hey," she said faintly leaning against the door frame.

Jace wasted no time in closing the distance between where she stood and he sat. "Hey," he said capturing her tiny waist in his arms. He shook off the thought of how alarming thin she suddenly felt to him.

Standing on the tips of her toes, Clary strained to reach his lips as she whispered, "Weren't you planning on kissing me?" she questioned seeing the far off look in his eyes.

He pushed aside the theories that picked at him, taunted him that something was still very wrong and concentrated on holding Clary in his arms. "What do you think?" he said trying to tease with her as he typically did but even to his ears the words fell flat.

"I think you better!" She laced her fingers in the belt loops of his jeans and pulled him closer to her, if that was even truly possible.

"Well, if I must," he joked with a sigh as he seized her mouth with his. Clary immediately melted into his embrace their bodies conforming to one another as if they had been made to fit together perfectly.

Their kiss deepened Jace parting her lips with his tongue each effortlessly getting lost in the other. Twisting his slender fingers through Clary's crimson locks, she let out a slight moan as Jace's touch instantly sent her nerves singing with excitement. He couldn't disguise the smile that played at the corner of his mouth. Jace enjoyed knowing what effect he had on her and she equally enjoyed knowing that she too could bring him great pleasure as she easily ran her hands just above the waist band of his jean causing him to suddenly gasp.

"Playing dirty I see," he said with a quiver in his voice. Clary smiled at him deviously and nodded her head in response. "Maybe we should take this inside?" he suggested backing deeper into his room without ever once breaking his hold on her.

They found their way to Jace's neatly made bed where he drew Clary onto his lap and continued caressing her gently. As he ran his fingers lightly across her cheek and down her neck, he was again assaulted by doubt – doubt that she wasn't as well as she said she was. Her skin felt warm to the touch and he could see the dark shadows circling her emerald eyes. There was no point in mentioning it to her since Jace knew she would laugh it off as nothing more than the fact that he had the ability to get her all hot and bothered. If it had been another time he might have countered with a sarcastic quip of his own but not now. He wasn't able to shake the foreboding feeling that plagued him.

"Jace?" Clary's voice tugged him back to what was going on around him and away from his thoughts.

"Hmmm," he said looking at her.

"What's wrong? You are like a million miles away."

"Nothing," he answered quickly. He realized that if he were to bring up his concerns it wouldn't do him any good. Clary was adamant that she was fine and that's all there was to it. "What's this?" he asked tracing a rather large purplish mark on her upper arm he hadn't noticed until now.

"It's nothing." Clary tugged at her sleeve trying to cover the offending mark wishing now that she had chosen a different shirt.

"It certainly doesn't look like nothing." Jace forced her hand away relieving the remainder of the bruise that was hidden under the short sleeve tee shirt. She winced a bit when he lightly ran his fingers across the discoloration. "Are you in pain?" he questioned doing what he could to hold his tone steady.

"No," she lied.

"Clary?" Jace raised one of his golden brows as if to say he didn't believe her.

"It's nothing, really. It's a bruise!" she announced with a gasp suddenly removing herself from Jace's lap.

Immediately he felt a sense of lose without her body in contact with his own yet he couldn't let that cloud his thoughts. "I can see that, a fairly large one at that. How did that happen?" Jace asked standing now resisting the impulse to reach for her.

"I don't remember," she fibbed.

"Do you really expect me to believe that?"

Clary knew that trying to keep something – anything from Jace was next to impossible. He knew her so very well. However she knew him to the same degree and was sure when she told him the truth he wasn't going to be at all pleased. "Isabelle and I were training and I lost…."

"You were what?!" Jace's voice boomed.

"We were training and I lost my balance and came down hard on my arm and shoulder. It's honestly not a huge deal."

Jace stared at her his golden eyes wide with a mix of anger and worry. He was doing what he could to wrap his mind around her words without getting lost in them. Those feelings, apprehensions took center stage in his brain. "I thought we talked about taking it easy for a bit in terms of training?" he questioned his voice a bit softer now but Clary could still sense his displeasure.

"Jace, it's been three weeks. I am fine. I can't just sit around here doing nothing. You won't or don't want to continue training with me so what was I supposed to do? I asked Izzy and she was glad to."

He felt his heart contract. Did she really think that he no longer wanted to train her? Could she truly believe that? "I never said that I didn't want to train you," he said plainly.

"Then why haven't you?" Clary inquired seriously.

How was he supposed to answer that question without revealing his deepest fears? Jace Lightwood feared nothing – no demon, no unwinable situation but there he stood fearing some invisible aliment that Clary had assured him over and over that she didn't have. "I just wanted to make sure that you have completely healed." Even he knew that sounded lame.

"Magnus assured me and you," she added pointedly, "that the demon poison was out of my system and there would be no lasting effects."

"I know," Jace hung his head as he replied.

"So please stop worrying. I lost my balance," she stated. "It's not as though it's some major thing. That's an area we both know I need to work on. And even though I love Isabelle like a sister, I would much rather train with you," she said with a slight smile.

"I would rather you trained with me as well," he agreed and not just because he enjoyed every minute spent with her but also if he had been the one with her maybe he could have kept her from falling.

"So then you will be my trainer again?" she asked hopefully.

Jace didn't answer her but came back with an entirely different question. "Why didn't Isabelle use the healing rune on the bruise?" Instantly her eyes fell to the floor and he was suddenly suspicious. "Clary? Did Isabelle mark you?" The pitch of his tone went up an octave. Yet still she made no attempt to speak. "She did didn't she? And it didn't work did it?"

What was she supposed to say? His suspicions were right on point. Isabelle indeed had placed the iratze due to the location Clary had been unable to do it herself. That had been two days ago and the bruise remained in fact it appeared to have been worse than now than when it first appeared.

"Clary?" Jace was unable to conceal the impatience in his voice. He wanted an answer. Harshly he reached out grabbing at her wrist forcing her to look at him.

"It's just a bruise!" she stressed pulling her arm out of his firm grip. Since she had met Jace he had never once touched her the way he had right then. Clary couldn't begin to describe the expression she saw cloud his features. It was a mixture of anger, concern and alarm. "I have been getting them long before I ever knew I had Shadowhunter blood running through my veins. What's the big deal?"

"If Isabelle marked you that bruise should no longer be there. Did she?" he pressed.

Finally with a deep sigh she answered him. "Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jace questioned.

"There was nothing to tell."

"Clary," Jace reached for her hand this time with far more gentleness. But she stopped him before he could continue.

"I don't want to fight with you."

"Nor I with you."

"Then don't. Can't you just leave this alone. It's simply a bruise, nothing more."

Jace didn't believe that for a moment. A simple bruise would have vanished minutes after a mark being placed but it obviously hadn't. That was beyond troubling. Yet the look of pleading in her deep green eyes tugged at his heart. There was little he could deny her even when it went against his better judgment.

"Please," her voice sounded like that of a child.

"No more training with Isabelle," Jace said yet not truly agreeing to dropping the matter entirely, but he would for now.

"Promise," Clary said with a smile. "I told Simon I would meet him at Java Jones. You want to join us?"

"Not this time," Jace said the wheels in his head already spinning.

"I won't be long." Kissing him on the cheek, Clary made her way out of the room and down the hallway to the entrance of The Institute.

Jace waited until he could no longer hear the sounds of Clary's footsteps before making his way from the room calling Isabelle's name as he went.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Author's Note:  
First I want to thank those of you reading, following and reviewing this story. I have fallen in love with TMI and especially Jace and Clary. I hope you enjoy the ideas I have for them in my head. And as always I love to hear what you think of what I have created. Please review as they are this writer's life's blood. Thank you again.**_

Powerless: Chapter Five

Jace strode through the halls of The Institute his voice crescendoed off the thick damp stone walls calling Isabelle's name as he went. The idea that she had gone against his wishes when it came to training with Clary enraged him. He was sure he made himself perfectly clear to both Alec and Isabelle they were to refuse her requests, requests he was certain Clary would make about continuing her Shadowhunter training.

"Isabelle!" Jace shouted again.

"By the Angel what are you yelling about?" Alec asked as he stepped out into the corridor.

"Where is Isabelle?" he asked ignoring the remark made to him.

"I don't know. I am not her keeper. What's going on? What's wrong?" Alec could sense from the tightness in Jace's jaw and the fire behind his eyes that this wasn't some ordinary tiff between the two.

"Isabelle!" Jace continued to bellow without ever acknowledging Alec's questions.

"Jace," Alec pulled his long time friend by the arm forcing him to cease moving and look at him finally. "What are you going on about? And what does Isabelle have to do with it?"

"I need to speak with Isabelle," his tone softened slightly.

"Why?" Alec pressed.

"I just need to," Jace said evasively. He was well aware of the fact that both his 'siblings' thought that his over protective nature when it came to Clary, especially after what had happened in Central Park, was unwarranted. The last thing Jace wanted was to have another go round with Alec about it especially when he still couldn't shake the strange sensation in the pit of his stomach that something was still wrong.

Alec raised a brow and shot Jace a curious look. "Why?"

Before Jace could dodge answering, the sight of a robe clad Isabelle with a towel wrapped turban style around her head came into his line of vision. "We need to talk," he said roughly grabbing her by the forearm.

"What on earth?!" Isabelle gave him an expression of shock. "Jace Lightwood, what do you think you are doing?" she screeched as he prodded into her room shutting the door with a thud behind them.

Alec hesitated for a moment debating on what to do. Should he stay and see what this was all about or just leave it alone? In the weeks since he and Clary had been attacked, Jace had been so very different than Alec had grown accustomed to, even more so than after Clary had first become a part of all their lives. Rather than his usual sarcastic arrogant self, Alec saw a withdrawn Jace, a person who was somewhere else most of the time even when he was standing right next to you. This new version of Jace was a difficult one for Alec to deal with or wrap his head around. "Isabelle can hold her own," he said to himself looking at his watch and wondering if Magnus might be interested in a little visit.

"What were you thinking?" Jace raged.

"Actually, I was thinking what a lunatic you look like right now!" Isabelle spat back uncoiling her long black tresses from the thick white towel that had held them in place just moments before.

"Training with Clary, what were you thinking by doing that?"

"She asked," Isabelle stated matter a fact.

"And I asked you not to!" he countered.

"I know."

"You know!" Jace couldn't hide his flabbergasted expression.

"And I think you are being ridiculous!" she cut him off before he could continue on with his well worn diatribe that admittedly Isabelle found quite tiresome. "Clary's fine. She's been fine for weeks now. It's you who we are all starting to worry about." Isabelle quipped. "She needs to train Jace. You can't protect her from everything."

Jace had heard Clary tell him the very same thing. And no matter what his head told him about the truth in those words his heart wasn't having any of it. "I just want to make sure she's completely healed."

"She is," Isabelle stressed. "Magnus said she's fine. She's told you she's fine. When are you going to start believing it?"

He didn't have an answer. He wished he could just move forward stop looking for trouble where there wasn't any however the sense of foreboding that lingered every time he looked at Clary was maddening. "The next time Clary asks to train with you please direct her to me. I will be handling that area from now on."

"Jace," Isabelle began but stopped herself when she looked into his face. She could see that he was truly troubled and anxious concerning Clary and her health. "I will be sure to do that," she said controlling the cutting comment that was about to fall from her tongue.

"Thank you."

Isabelle watched as he exited her room gone were the squared shoulders and confidant walk of the Shadowhunter who thought he could take on the world and win. What was left in its place was a young man desperately in love and consumed by an unnamed fear.

"You want another coffee?" Simon asked.

"Sure," Clary answered reaching for her cup to hand it to him. She felt a pain shoot through her wrist and when she looked down she saw a distinctive purple circle that looked like a lacework of fingers encircling it. Quickly she drew her hand away before Simon was able to notice the mark. "You know what, I think I'm good," she said changing her mind.

"Okay. I'll be right back."

Clary waited until Simon was clearly out of sight before she pulled her arm up to examine it. There on her wrist was a clear imprint of a hand, Jace's hand, from when he reached for her arm earlier. She could see the outline of his delicate fingers splayed against her alabaster skin. Each digit left a fierce wine impression where it had touched her. Clary flexed it in front of her and again a sharp pain radiated up her arm.

With eyes fixated on the suddenly formed bruise, Clary felt her head begin to swim. How on earth had that just all of the sudden appeared she thought to herself? Jace had barely touched her yet by the markings left one would have thought that he had held her with a vice like grip. Again she touched the affected area running her fingers over the two protruding bones of her wrist and without warning let out a slight yelp.

"Clary?" Simon's worried voice came from behind.

Quickly she slid her arms between her legs biting her lower lip with such force that she tasted the saltiness of her own blood on her tongue. She did what she could to smile through the throbbing that radiated from her wrist to her elbow.

"You okay?" Simon questioned thoughtfully setting his mug down on the table in front of them giving his long time friend a look of concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said almost a little too quickly.

"You sure? I thought I heard you…."

"I said I'm FINE!" There was a bite to her tone that Simon wasn't at all used to. Clary saw the look of shock on his face. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "I just wish everyone would stop looking at me like I am about to break. I am fine, really I am."

"Okay," Simon returned. "I just thought I heard you….forget it." He stopped himself short when he saw the pleading look darting from Clary's crystal green eyes.

"So how are things with Isabelle?" Clary asked carefully reaching for her mug of coffee with her other hand.

"Good."

"Just good?" Clary gave him a puzzled look. She was certain that Isabelle had fallen in love with her best friend even if the young Shadowhunter was doing her best to guard her heart.

"We're taking things slowly," Simon clarified.

"Slowly?" Clary echoed.

"Yes, slowly," he said with a drawl.

Clary recalled a similar conversation she had had with Isabelle in which she was had told her basically the same thing. That she and Simon were taking things slowly and of course then she had to add that not everyone falls in love at first sight like Jace and you did. Clary knew it was a dig to safeguard herself and turn the conversation away from a subject that made Isabelle uncomfortable.

"Do you think you're in love with her?" Clary asked Simon point blank.

He nearly choked on the drink of coffee he had just taken, "WHAT?!" he sputtered.

"You heard me. Are you in love with Isabelle?" Clary almost giggled at his reaction as it was nearly identical to the one Isabelle had given her when she posed the very same question to her.

"What….I don't….why?" Simon's tongue tripped over itself unsure what words to say.

"I just wanted to know."

"Why? What did Isabelle say something to you – about me?"

"And if she had would that make a difference?" Clary knew she wasn't playing fair but at the moment was enjoying the game too much to care.

"Clary, what did Isabelle say to you?" Simon pressed.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" she smiled coyly leaning forward to reach for her coffee cup. The moment she did that without warning she felt as if the world had just tilted on its axis. Pausing for a minute the sensation passed and she continued with her quest for her coffee.

"Clary?" Simon's voice was full of concern. "Are you okay?" He couldn't help but notice how suddenly pale she appeared.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said sitting very still in the hope that the wave of nausea and light headedness would pass as quickly as it had came.

Simon sat silently studying his long time friend all thoughts of their previous conversation and his feelings for Isabelle forgotten. "Clary, you're sweating," he said reaching out to touch her temple pushing away a strand of fiery red hair that was matted there.

She reached up and touched her forehead only to find it damp. "It's hot in here," she announced.

"It is not," Simon countered. "What's wrong?" he asked reaching over placing his hand in hers. Instantly he felt the heat her skin emitted. "Clary?"

She stopped him before he could say any more. "I'm fine. I'm fine. It's just hot in here."

"I don't think you're fine," Simon announced.

"So what now I don't know my own body? I said I'm fine!" Clary stood up ready to exit but immediately regretted the swiftness of her actions as she felt her body stumble backward as if someone had just pulled the rug out from under her feet.

"Clary!" Simon's voice sounded shrill to her ears yet somehow off in the distance. She felt his arms catch her before she had been able to hit the ground. "Clary?"

"Please, please don't tell Jace. You can't tell Jace," she said tearfully.


	6. Chapter 6

Powerless: Chapter Six

Simon stood by watching helplessly as Clary fell into a fit of hysterics to the point she was nearly hyperventilating. All she kept going on about between ragged breaths was that he couldn't tell Jace. Under normal circumstances the thought of keeping something from Jace would have had Simon giddy with idea of having one over on him but not this time. The knot in his stomach tightened and knew this time – this wasn't something to be excited about.

"Please, Simon, promise me…you won't breath a word of this to Jace," Clary's voice quivered as she reached for him. Simon wasn't sure her reaching for him didn't have something to do with the fact that she looked like she was about to faint. "Please, Simon," she pleaded.

"Clary, calm down," he said quietly. "I won't tell Jace. I promise," he assured her even though as he was saying words he wished he wasn't. "Come on, sit down." He guided her back down to the cranberry colored sofa. "Take it easy."

He watched her cup her face in her hands and could feel her body shaking as he softly ran his hand over her back in slow circular motions. Simon could feel the heat pour off her body now and the thin green fabric of her shirt was damp from sweat. A sudden fear filled him something was most definitely wrong.

"You are burning up," he stated firmly.

Clary wiped the back of her hand across her forehead pushing her hair out of her eyes willing herself not to feel the clamminess of her own skin. It was then Simon saw the unshed tears vying for escape from her emerald green eyes. That sight alone broke his heart. Immediately he pulled her into his arms and that's when the flood gates holding back the dam of tears let loose and Simon felt a sudden gush of water soaking his shoulder.

He wasn't sure how long they had sat there like that the crowd at Java Jones barely noticing them. Simon sat silently holding his best friend until her breathing slowed to a steady rhythmic pace.

"Clary," he finally said pulling back to look at her face stained with streaks of black mascara. "What's going on? Are you okay?"

She remained silent running her fingers below her eyes in a vain attempt to wipe away the tears that had dried below them. "I don't know," she said with a ragged breath.

"Why don't you want Jace to…"

"I just don't," she cut him off harshly.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea."

"Simon Lewis, you promised me!" Clary's green eyes were all of the sudden blazing.

"I know, but…."

"But nothing!" She eyed him vehemently.

The idea of keeping this episode from Jace didn't at all sit right with him. Isabelle had told him a little about what had been going on at the Institute since Clary and Jace were attacked and for once Simon actually thought he and Jace were on the same page as frightening as that thought was to him. Neither one of them wanted anything to happen Clary.

"SIMON!" Clary's voice shook. "You promised."

He didn't like the pallor of her skin and worried that the more he fought with her about this the more ashen she would become. "I promise," he said again. "Do you think you can stand?" he asked.

Clary gave him an incredulous look as though his question was one of ridiculousness and rose from the patterned sofa only to find a twinge shoot up the front of her shin. Letting out a groan Simon's eyes were instantly on her. "What?" he asked hesitantly.

"My leg," she said reaching down to pull up the pant leg of her jeans. In the middle of Clary's shin was a large gash that was already turning an ugly yellowish black. "What the hell?" she said under her breath knowing full well that hadn't been there before.

"Clary?" Simon tired but was unsuccessful in hiding the panic raising in his voice. But it wasn't until she nearly passed out again without warning that Simon was done playing games. He didn't know what was going on and while he had promised not to speak a word of this to Jace he hadn't promised that he wouldn't look elsewhere for assistance.

"By the Angel, I'm coming!" Alec grumbled as he padded towards the door his gray sweatpants hanging low on his hips. Swinging the ornate wooden structure open, he was dumbfounded at the sight before him. There was Clary splayed out in Simon's arms. "Simon?" Alec's voice hitched in his throat.

"Is Magnus here?" Simon asked stepping inside not waiting on an invitation.

"What happened?" Alec questioned his eyes traveling the length of Clary's prone frame.

"Where's Magnus?"

"Alec, who was at the door?" The Warlock asked descending the staircase spiky black hair in disarray and his neon pajama bottoms hanging untied at his waist.

"You have to help her," Simon said desperation in his tone.

"What happened?" Magnus parroted his lover's earlier question as he easily lifted Clary from Simon's outstretched arms.

"We were at Java Jones and she got dizzy a couple times and then passed out," Simon informed him. "I think she has a fever," he added.

Magnus recalled the events that Jace had conveyed to him regarding the need for a second iratze after they had been attacked. The events sounded all too similar. "Clary," Magnus' voice was soft as he laid her down gently on the chaise lounge adjacent to the low burning flame that licked at the mantle above.

"I'll call Jace," Alec announced.

"No!" Simon shouted. "I promised her, promised her I wouldn't tell him."

"Well I didn't make such a foolish promise," Alec shot back.

Magnus looked up from where Clary lay and reached out to stop Alec from moving. "Not yet. Let's not worry him needlessly." Alec's eyes widened at that remark. Clary lying unconscious in front of them all certainly didn't seem like 'needless' worry as far as he was concerned. "Alec, trust me."

The blue-eyed Shadowhunter nodded. "What's wrong with her?" Simon asked impatiently.

Magnus ignored the daylighter and went to work examining Clary. She indeed was feverish. The perspiration that dampened her brow spoke to the fact that it was probably quite high by mundane standards, even if she was no longer a mundane. "Alec, a cool rag, please. Clary, Clary can you hear me?" Magnus asked in a hushed voice. "Thank you," he said taking the rag Alec stood above offering. He could feel the tension in his significant other's hand as their skin grazed briefly. He wanted to assure him; say something that would take away the worry Magnus saw filling the cerulean eyes of his love yet he wasn't able to.

"Clary," Magnus spoke as he wiped her brow gently. "Clary, can you hear me?" he asked once more.

"Jace?" the single word was scarcely a whisper but The Warlock heard it none the less.

"Clary, it's Magnus. Can you open your eyes?"

She struggled against the darkness that seemed to keep her lids pinned in place. She could feel the thumping at her temples and her head felt so heavy. Once more she heard a voice prodding her to open her eyes. Slowly her lids began to flutter and she squinted trying to bring the darkened room into focus. The throbbing behind her eyes compelled her to close them again but she fought against that urge feeling the need to stay awake.

"Thank god."

She heard a voice say as she squinted to concentrate on the figures standing around her. At last she was able to discern the images, before her was standing Alec and Simon and Magnus Bane was seated next to her.

"Clary, can you sit up?" Magnus asked her.

"Do you think that's a good idea?" Simon asked worriedly.

Magnus glared at him wishing to make him vanish. "Can you sit?" he questioned again.

"I think so," she answered him with a hoarse voice. "Ah," she cried out. "My head it hurts so bad."

"Relax," Magnus' tone was so soothing. "Alec your stele, do you have it with you?"

"Of course."

"I need you to place an iratze, one for strength, healing and tranquility as close to her heart as you can." Alec gave his partner a curious look. "Please Alexander, just do as I ask."

Alec brought forth his stele and did as he was instructed. It felt rather odd to be marking Clary in such an intimate manner even though Alec understood the closer to the heart a rune was placed the stronger its effect would be.

"Is that better?" Magnus asked her.

Clary felt a rush of numbness crash over her body as if she had been given high dose of morphine. The pain in her head had lessened yet the cobwebs that hung in its outskirts still picked at her. "A bit," she answered.

"May I examine you?" he asked her permission. She nodded.

His eyes were drawn to the various bruises that speckled her body. It wasn't unusual for a Shadowhunter to bruise they were indeed half human still yet he had never seen them quite as prominent as they were now displayed on Clary.

"What's wrong with her?" Simon asked breaking the silence of the room.

"I am not sure," Magnus admitted.

"What do you mean you aren't sure?" Simon barked. "I thought you Warlocks knew everything, could fix anything?"

It was one thing for Magnus to tolerate Jace's antagonistic attitude but such things wouldn't be abided by from others. "Daylighter, you would be wise to hold your tongue. I realize the affection you hold for Clary but that doesn't mean that I will withstand such disrespect in my own home. You brought her to me, kindly remember that!"

Clary reached up and tugged at Magnus' elbow. "He meant no disrespect." Magnus couldn't help but smile at her. Even in the state she was in, Clary was still trying to protect those she cared the most about.

"These bruises, Clary, how did you get so many?" he asked.

"Training."

"All of them?" Magnus eyed her cautiously.

"Not all of them. The one on my wrist is where Jace grabbed me…."

"Jace would never lay a hand on you!" Alec's voice was indignant.

"He didn't!" Clary shot back shocked that Alec would think that that's even remotely what she had meant. "He just reached for my arm earlier today to pull me back towards him."

"And this is what came of that?" Magnus picked up her arm and looked closer at the purple contusion.

"Yes." She winced when his long fingers glided over the effected area.

Alec sensed from Magnus' silence that he was far more concerned than he wanted to let on. And that in turn sent his own head spinning.

"How about the dizziness? Does it come on you frequently?" She looked away not wanting to answer. "Clary, I can't help you if you don't tell me everything."

"It's happened a few times. But it typically comes and goes rather quickly."

"So this is only the second time that you have fainted?"

"I guess."

"Magnus?" Alec looked across the room with a questioning expression.

"I'd like it if you would remain her for the night. I would like to do a little research as to what I think might be happening and if I am right about my suspicions I can administer an antidote by morning."

"What's wrong with her?" Simon inquired again.

"As I said I need to do a bit more research." That was all Magnus would say.

"I will do whatever you think is best."

"Good. As for the rest of you, it's time that you go. Clary needs to rest and I need to get to my investigation."

"Wait," Clary stopped suddenly panic stricken. "I told Jace I wouldn't be gone long. He's going to be freaking out if I don't return to The Institute."

"I could call him and tell him you fell asleep at my place watching a movie," Simon jumped in doing what he could to allay his best friend's tension.

"Would he believe that?" Magnus inquired.

"It's not like I haven't done that before. It's possible," she said.

"Then daylighter make that call and make it a convincing one."


	7. AN

First I would like to thank those of you reading who have made this story a favorite or have flagged it as one you are following. I truly appreciate that. As much as I love writing and the outlet it gives me to create it's even more energizing to know that something I put down on paper (I guess screen) gets people's attention. This is my first Mortal Instruments story and who knows if it will be my last I guess it will depend on if my muse strikes again with another story idea or if there is a clamoring for the world I have created for Cassandra Clare's characters. I hope to see more reviews about what you like and don't like about this story. Reviews and input are my life's blood. Thanks again to those of you reading.


	8. Chapter 7

Powerless: Chapter Seven

Alec stood at the foot of the expansive stone steps that led to the entrance of The Institute willing himself to move yet it was as though his feet had taken root in that spot. Suddenly this was the last place he wanted to be especially now given what he knew.

He had wanted to stay with Magnus and help him look through whatever books and spells he could find that would point to what was ailing Clary but The High Warlock of Brooklyn would have none of that. Magnus had insisted on his leaving and that pained him more than he cared to admit. Even though Alec realized that his lover had been correct when he said that Jace wouldn't be able to handle both his and Clary's absence, the idea of facing his_ parabatai_ shook him to the core. What on earth was he supposed to say to him when no doubt Jace would speak of Clary? He was supposed to lie however the thought of lying to Jace wasn't one that Alec had ever contemplated before.

It was well past midnight and the moon had rose high in the night sky causing glittery shadows across the spires that reached upward to the darkened expanse. Alec looked at the place he had called home for many years now and felt ill at ease. He had to force himself to move forward towards the heavy wooden door inlayed with various runes from top to bottom. All he wanted to do was turn on his heel and head back to Magnus' flat in Brooklyn but he knew he couldn't. The pull of the _parabatai_ _iratze_ sprawled across his chest spoke to the loss that he sensed Jace was experiencing. With his single touch the door fell open and methodically Alec crossed the threshold and prepared for what he knew was going to be tougher than any battle against a demon he had ever faced – lying to Jace.

Jace paced the smooth black basalt floor Simon's recent call had done nothing to alleviate but rather intensify the peculiar feeling that had come to live in the pit of his stomach in the last few weeks. Clary had assured him that she wouldn't be gone long but yet Simon had phoned saying that Clary fell asleep watching a movie at his house. Jace wanted to believe that; it certainly wasn't something that had not happened before. He had grown accustomed to Clary's friendship with the now vampire. There had been a time when he had been resentful of the closeness that Clary and Simon shared but those days had long since passed however something about the tone in his voice and the swift manner in which Simon ended the call had Jace anxious.

The silence of The Institute allowed for his mind to wander and replay the events of the previous weeks over and over again in his head like some movie on a continuous loop. He did what he could to concentrate on the frames where he saw Clary as she normally would have been but those that showed her bleeding, helpless and sick were the ones that Jace was forced to stare at behind his closed eyes. He shuddered at the image of the blood gushing from her shoulder wound. The panic he had felt that afternoon still had a way of seizing him even now. And the things that had unfolded with her health in the days that have followed had done little if anything to calm him.

How hadn't he noticed how thin she had been becoming? This afternoon when he held her in his arms he could nearly feel each and every one of her ribs had she not been eating and if not why? Again his mind filled with so many unanswerable questions. Why weren't the healing runes working? The image of the large bruise on her upper arm that he had seen this afternoon flashed before him. Isabelle had marked her yet the contusion remained just the same. Jace was well aware of the fact that Clary wanted him to forget about it all and part of him wished he could – could give her what she wanted however there was another part a greater part that couldn't.

He resisted the urge to race across town and barge into Simon's home and bring Clary back to The Institute. Those thoughts weren't ones he had ever entertained before. Typically Jace could have cared less about the string of girls that had wandered in and out of his life and certainly had never turned himself inside out worrying about their welfare yet Clary was an entirely different story.

In the distance Jace heard the sound of a door opening. Maybe Clary had woke up and decided to return to The Institute. He rushed down the long corridor, "Clary?" Jace's voice bounced off the walls dimly lit by witchlight as he came around the corner at the sound of the closing door.

Alec swallowed around the lump that sat at the base of his throat. "No," he finally croaked out. "Sorry to disappoint." He tried to fill his tone with a bit of humor but only ended up hoping to hold his voice steady wishing that Jace would pop off with his typical off the cuff humor or snide comment but there was none. There was nothing but a sullen expression and a vacant look in his golden eyes when Alec heard him mumble – _oh_.

Alec was at a loss for what to say. All he wanted to do was make as hasty exit as to not have to face his friend yet he knew that that would only serve to intensify an already stressful situation. "You and Iz okay?" he asked remembering the scene he had exited and wondered if it would have been better if he had just stayed rather than ending up in one that put him in an even more awkward position – knowing Clary was still sick and unable to tell Jace.

"No," Jace said matter a fact.

"What did she do this time?" Alec questioned. Over the years he had known his sister and Jace to spar over the simplest and silliest things.

"She's been training with Clary."

"Oh," was all Alec was able to muster as the last image of Clary laying feverish and bruised on Magnus' sofa bombarded him.

"Oh," Jace's tone was mocking. "So you knew about it?" He asked accusingly.

"No," he answered even though he had his suspicions. He had heard a conversation between Clary and his sister a few days prior in which the pair was discussing Jace and how silly and overprotective he was being. At the time he had agreed with what he heard but now he was having serious second thoughts.

"So you knew nothing about it?" Jace pressed.

"No, nothing concrete," he said stretching the truth a bit.

"So you did know." Jace gave Alec a piercing stare as he spoke.

"No, not in the way you are thinking. You know Izzy and Clary for that matter," he added. "They are both headstrong and basically do what they want," Alec said with a half laugh. "I think they thought you were being ridiculous and certainly overprotective about not wanting her to train after what happened in Central Park."

"And you agree with them?" Jace questioned.

Alec bit his tongue unsure of how to answer that at this point. A few hours ago he would have said emphatically _'hell yes'_ but now he had to admit that whatever Jace had been sensing was spot on. There was definitely something physically wrong with Clary. "Honestly, I don't know what to think," he finally announced.

Jace pulled back and gave his _parabatai_ a puzzled glance trying to read Alec's expression. Something in his eyes spoke to Jace telling him that there was something Alec wasn't telling him. "What do you think then or better yet what aren't you telling me?" Jace asked directly. Alec fidgeted stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "Alec, what?"

"Nothing, I don't know anything!" Alec spoke a bit too quickly and his tone in no way laid Jace's ever mounting fears to rest.

"I don't believe you. What aren't you telling me?" he pressed.

"Nothing." Once more Alec stood restless looking for any opportunity to escape Jace's interrogation; an interrogation that he knew wouldn't end well.

"Alec, please if there's something you know, something about Clary," Jace's voice fell silent.

It was look of total despair on his friend's face that caused Alec to rethink his promise to keep quiet about Clary's current condition. Magnus assured him that if what he assumed what happening to her was correct that by morning she would be fine and there would be no need to tell Jace the happenings of that night. He trusted Magnus and knew that his lover had lived long enough to have seen a variety of illnesses caused by a multitude of demons and would be able to treat Clary but the idea of keeping Jace in the dark well it was something that he was certainly rethinking.

"Alec, tell me what you know," Jace demanded. He had known Alec Lightwood long enough and been in enough battles with him to be able to read his expressions and the one he saw now told him that Alec was doing his best to keep something hidden.

Taking a deep breath trying to order his thoughts so that what he did tell Jace didn't send his friend into a tailspin even though Alec was pretty sure that no matter carefully he chose his words Jace would freak out. "Simon brought Clary to Magnus' tonight."

"What?! Why!? What happened?" Jace's words tumbled from his lips in a rapid succession.

"I don't know all the details really apparently she passed out and Simon thought she had a fever or something."

Jace's face blanched at the words he heard. "What?" his voice was just an angry whisper. "Why didn't he bring her here, to me?" Jace barked.

"He said he promised her he wouldn't tell you." At that remark Jace's eyes widened. "I know," Alec said. "I wanted to call you."

"Then why didn't you?" he snapped.

"Magnus said there wasn't any reason to worry you needlessly….."

"NEEDLESSLY!" Jace shouted over the remainder of his friend's words.

"Magnus said that he was sure that he knew what was wrong and that by morning she would be fine."

"Magnus said…Magnus said," Jace replied sarcastically mocking Alec's words. "I don't give a damn what Magnus said. He's told us before she was fine and it's rather obvious he was wrong!" Alec had no words to argue with Jace's observation. He trusted Magnus as much as he knew Jace did not and there would be no changing that position. "So you weren't planning on telling me anything were you?" Jace accused. "You're not any better than Isabelle going behind my back and training with Clary!"

Jace clenched his fists at his side rage growing steadily like a fire being stoked in the pit of his stomach. All his thoughts were centered on Clary and her being sick and away from him. His golden eyes flashed daggers in the direction Alec stood.

"I'm sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing." Jace had no words for that statement in fact it baffled him. The idea that Alec actually believed keeping him in the dark about anything that concerned Clary was laughable. "Jace! Jace wait!" Alec called after him as Jace advanced through the hallway towards the entrance of The Institute. "Jace!" he shouted his voice reverberating off the thick stone walls.

"Alec?" Isabelle's soft voice pulled his eyes away from the vacant space that Jace had just inhabited. "What's going on? Where on earth is Jace going at this hour?"

"Magnus'?" Isabelle gave him a questioning look prodding him to continue. "Iz, I think Clary is sicker than she's letting any of us in on."

"What do you mean? She's fine. Magnus said she was fully recovered."

"I don't think that's the case. Simon showed up at Magnus' flat tonight," he momentarily paused, "Clary was passed out in his arms."

Isabelle gasped and her hands flew to cover her mouth. "What? She was fine the other day. I mean she lost her balance a few times when we were training but nothing that would have suggested that anything was wrong."

"I don't know but I don't think she's as fine as she wants us all to believe, especially Jace. She had Simon promise not to say anything to him."

"Magnus can help her, can't he?" she asked quietly.

"He thinks he can but honestly," Alec fell silent not wishing to admit that perhaps this was something outside of his lover's expansive warlock abilities. "I don't know."

"MAGNUS! MAGNUS, let me in! I know that you have Clary in there!" Jace's voice echoed into the dark cover of night as his fists pounded on ornate wooden door that stood between him and Clary.


	9. Chapter 8

Powerless: Chapter Eight

The artificial blue green flames danced in the fire box drawing Magnus' attention now and again. Before him sat stacks of spell books and journals he had collected throughout his extensive life. He knew that within their pages held something that would help Clary. "They have to," he said turning speaking to Chairman Meow whose only response was to thump his thick tail on the black lacquer table.

Magnus' eyes wandered to where Clary lay resting. She had finally fallen into a calm sleep and had remained as such for the past few hours. Up until then she had been plagued with fits of restlessness to which nothing he did could calm her. He was sure that the way her fair skin so easily bruised meant something as he continued flipping the thin worn pages of the black velvet and leather bound book before him. He had seen something very similar many many years ago but what it was or indicated escaped him at the moment.

The high-pitched ring of the cell phone perched at the edge of the table startled Magnus while his green cat eyes flashed towards Clary. The last thing he wanted was to disturb her. "Hello?" he said with a tone of annoyance.

"You might want to prepare for a visitor."

Magnus' ear was met with Alec's soft voice then was assaulted by a thunderous pounding reverberating from his foyer followed by a furious voice he immediately recognized – Jace. "They've arrived." Magnus said without inflection.

"I'm sorry," Alec sighed. "I couldn't help it. Jace knows me. He knew something was wrong." Alec did what he could to explain away his actions.

"I better answer the door before he wakes up my entire building," Magnus announced.

"I can come back," Alec offered.

"That won't be necessary. He's not the first angry young Shadowhunter I have had to contain."

"Magnus, I am truly sorry," he apologized.

"I know," Magnus replied as he ended the conversation.

"MAGNUS! MAGNUS, let me in! I know that you have Clary in there!" Jace's voice blared making it sound as though he was standing right next to Magnus instead of being on the other side of the thick wooden door.

Throwing open the door he was greeted with a furious golden eyed young man who looked like a lion ready to pounce. "You do realize I have neighbors?" Magnus questioned.

"Where is she?" Jace roared pushing passed the Warlock as though he was part of a police SWAT team.

"Why, yes Jace, do come in," Magnus said with mock pleasantries.

"WHERE IS SHE!?" Jace's tone grew sharper and more incensed.

Quickly stepping forward to block his path, Magnus put up his hands and let a few blue sparks fly just in case the younger man was unaware that he had meant business. "Stop!" he instructed. "If you expect me to let you anywhere near Clary you have to get control of yourself."

Jace stared at Magnus infuriated and dumbfounded mixing together causing him to be rendered motionless – exactly what The High Warlock of Brooklyn had wanted. "I want to see her," Jace said his tone a bit less enraged.

"I'm getting that," Magnus announced as if teasing him. "She's sleeping, finally."

"Let me pass," Jace ordered craning his neck to see into the large room that Magnus typically held his various parties.

"She didn't want you to know about this." Magnus worried what Clary's state of mind might be if she woke up to find Jace sitting at her side.

"So I've been told. I can't believe any of you went along that!"

"Clary can be very persuasive."

Jace couldn't deny that. She was indeed persuasive and more times than he cared to admit he found himself going against his better judgment because of something she said did or wanted. "I know," he sighed. "I need to see her, please."

The sound of Jace's pleading tore at Magnus. "You have to promise me that you will remain calm….."

"Why? What aren't you telling me?" Alarm crept into Jace's tone.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about. You can't go off the deep end. Clary doesn't need to be worried about your reactions. I know that's why she didn't want anyone telling you what happened. She didn't want to worry you any more than she knows you already are."

"The last thing she should be doing is worrying about me," he said quietly.

"I know but she wouldn't be Clary if she wasn't."

"I promise," Jace answered the virtually unspoken question. Magnus stepped aside allowing Jace to pass deeper into the confines of his flat hoping he was doing the right thing.

Jace rushed to the chaise lounge where Clary lay cloaked in a thin crushed red velvet blanket. Instantly he was assaulted with how small and frail she looked lying there. He felt his chest tighten, breath hitch in his throat as he tightly clenched his jaw so that he could do what he promised Magnus he would – remain calm and that was no easy feat. Taking a deep bolstering breath Jace dropped to his knees beside where Clary slept. He could feel Magnus' trained stare from across the room. Jace was sure that the Warlock was ready to spring into action should he deviate from what he thought were appropriate actions on his part. Jace wanted to be angry at him for it but how could he when Magnus was only doing what he himself would do.

He watched the shallow rise and fall of her chest as he traced the area where her fire engine red hair touched her face. She was so beautiful, Jace thought. Clary had only been a part of his life for such a short time but she had come to be such a vital part of his existence, a part that he couldn't imagine himself without. "So, this research Alec says you have been doing – have you come up with something?" Jace asked turning his head in the direction of where Magnus stood.

"Not yet," he returned hesitantly waiting for an explosion from Jace that never came. Magnus was quite impressed with the young man's composure.

"What happened? Why would Simon bring her here?" Jace inquired hoping to get a few more facts than Alec had been able to provide.

"He had nowhere else to go," he answered honestly.

"He could have brought her to The Institute – to me," he added.

"We've been over this. Simon made a promise to his best friend and the little I know about him and the relationship they share it appears he keeps his promises so he brought her to me thinking that I was a safe bet."

"Tell me what you know." Jace did his best to avoid the bite his tone typically held certain it would do little to gain Magnus' favor something that never mattered to him until now.

Magnus came forward propping himself against the book laidened table and began the tale of facts as he knew them. When he reached the parts of the events explaining Clary's new bruises Jace lightly pulled at the cover to reveal the marks. The sight of the outline of where his hand had touched Clary's wrist assaulted him. That coupled with the marks on her upper arm and large gash on her leg she appeared to be someone subjected to regular abuse.

"What's happening to her?" Jace gasped his eyes wide.

"That's what I have been trying to ascertain. I have an idea but at the moment I am unable to locate the cause or the spell I need."

"You told us she was fine!" The sting in his voice that Jace was trying to keep at bay slowly crept into the forefront.

"I know and I thought she was but demon poisons can be rather tricky and sometimes have a way of masquerading themselves as something entirely different. I believe that's what's happening with Clary. I need to get back to my research."

"I'm not leaving her."

"I didn't expect that you would be. Just remember what I said earlier if you can't keep control of yourself I will have no problem tossing you out on your ass." Jace nodded as Magnus took his seat again and began thumbing through the book that he had been looking at before Jace had barged into his home.

Jace turned his attention to where Clary lay. He couldn't stop himself from running his slender fingers across her wrist. He tried not to focus on the fact that he had been the one to leave that offending mark there – no matter how innocent his touch had been meant to be. The acid tasting bile rose from the pit of his stomach burning a trail to the back of his throat. No matter how Jace looked at it intentional or not he had hurt her and that was eating away at him along with all the other signs that apparently Clary had been so proficient at hiding.

Quietly Jace sat on the floor beside her doing what he could to piece together his disjointed and haphazard thoughts of all the things he had witnessed over the past weeks trying to make them fit into some semblance of order allowing him to determine what Clary had so desparately not wanted him to see.

She was incredibly tired all the time, even though she would give one excuse or another to explain it away. There was no denying she was rail thin and now that Jace stopped to really think about the last time that he had seen Clary actually eat something it had been weeks. No matter when a meal was set in front of her she would push it aside saying either she wasn't hungry or that she had just eaten. Lately her complexion had taken on a white sheen that lent itself to a ghostly resemblance and if Jace stopped and really thought about all the times that he had witnessed her stop short and reach for something, anything nearby to steady herself he would have realized how badly her equilibrium was off. Of course there were the bruises that seemed to appear instantly on her now pallid skin, that no_ iratze_ was able to take away.

"Oh my love," he whispered, "What on earth is going on?"

Neither Magnus nor Jace had taken notice that Alec and Isabelle had entered the room. Each man was lost in their own thoughts. "Well, I'm glad to see the building is still standing," he said only half joking. He had fully expected to find the place in disarray given the state of mind Jace had been in when he left the Institute.

"How is she?" Isabelle asked quietly as she approached Jace. He pulled his head up looking at her he had no words to answer the question she posed. "I didn't realize Jace. I didn't know that she was still ill. I would have never…."

Jace placed his hand on hers stopping her midsentence. "I know," he replied realizing that Isabelle had been fooled by Clary's diversionary tactics. "I missed a few of the signs myself," he added.

"But you kept telling us, saying that something wasn't right," Isabelle said.

"Yes and look where that got me? Clary feeling she had to hide what was going on with herself because she didn't want to worry me." The anguish in Jace's voice was palpable and it left Isabelle speechless only able to reach for his hand giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Have you been able to find anything that might help?" Alec walked over to where his lover sat pouring over the ancient pages of a rather large spell book. He took notice of Magnus' glittery tipped spikes of hair matted to his scalp and the smudges of thick black liner trailing under his cat like eyes. He looked exhausted.

"Not yet," Magnus sighed. "But I can feel it. I am getting closer."

"When was the last time you ate something? Either of you?" Alec asked including Jace in his questioning.

Honestly neither of them knew nor did they care. "Food can wait," Magnus replied.

"Is there something we can do to help?" Isabelle asked reaching for one of the many books on the table.

"Here," Magnus handed her a thick leather bound book. "Start at the beginning compare each and every demon, its poison and effects with what we know Clary has been experiencing. Even if you think there's just a slight chance that they are related mark the page so I can look at it myself."

"But we know what type of demon attacked Clary," Alec stated. "What's the need for researching others?"

"A Croucher demon's poison shouldn't, wouldn't in fact, have had the effect on Clary to the degree with which she's experiencing symptoms. There's more going on and I know it's in these books. I have seen something similar to this decades and decades ago but I can't quite recall so I need Isabelle to do what I asked to jog my memory, if you will."

"What can I do?" Alec put his hand on the Warlock's shoulder giving it a soft squeeze offering him what little support he could.

"Here, start reading anything and I mean anything that stands out or is even remotely similar to what we know Clary has been experiencing mark it as I asked Isabelle to do." Magnus handed over another large weathered book.

Jace watched as the three of them sat with their heads bent together pouring over the pages of the many books on the table. He was torn wanting to be part of what was going just a few feet away from where he sat yet he felt as though he couldn't leave Clary's side. It was almost as if he wasn't touching her in some way she would vanish. So there he stayed her small hand disappearing between his larger ones as the night ebbed into dawn.


	10. Chapter 9

Powerless: Chapter Nine

Magnus pressed his long elegant fingers to his eyes not knowing when night had faded into morning yet it had. The haze over the East River swirled with hues of pink, purple and a faint touch of gold as the sun began burning off the mist that covered the surrounding city. He took a deep cleansing breath in a vain attempt to clear the cobwebs from his head. He was exhausted but much to his dismay no closer to finding something to help Clary, however, Magnus knew it was locked within the pages of one of these many books.

As he reached forward to gather his notes, Chairman Meow sprang from out of nowhere landing squarely before Magnus purring loudly before promptly positioning himself in the center of the book Magnus had been studying. "I know, I know too many people," he said stroking the large cat's pearl gray fur. "It can't be helped." Chairman Meow let out a soft sound of protest before spreading his body across several of the open books in front of Magnus.

Scratching gently behind his ears, Magnus offered a bit of attention the cat so desired knowing that if he didn't there would be no chance of him getting anything else accomplished. Chairman Meow could make quite a nuisance of himself when he chose too. "Okay now, shoo, I have work to do," he said patting the cat just above the tail.

Seemingly satisfied the large gray cat stood up, stretched once more before pushing off with his back feet jumping down from the table to land silently on the floor. It was that dismount that caused a small weather worn notebook to fall to the floor on the other side of Magus. It made little if any noise as is landed with a muffled thump on the thick Persian rug.

Magnus leaned over picking it up. The corners of the brown leather were worn bare from years of use and the binding was tattered at the ends. Magnus looked at the undersized notebook and immediately thought of his mother as the book had been hers. It had been years perhaps decades since he had allowed his mind wander to the woman who had given birth to him. That time in his life had been a painful one, one he chose not to dwell on yet now holding his mother's journal in his hand the memories all came flooding back as if someone had mistakenly opened a dam letting its contents pound the surrounding earth.

Cautiously he turned the pages not only because of how fragile the thin and deteriorating ancient papers between the bindings were but for himself as well. For him the words written on those pages were like a festering wound that refused to heal. How odd that thought was Magnus reflected – a wound that wouldn't heal isn't that exactly what Clary had been experiencing? No matter what was done to make it go away it was still there lurking just below the surface ready to strike at any moment.

Scanning the pages of his mother's graceful script doing what he could not to get lost in his own cutting memories one passage caused his eyes to stop dead. Magnus read and reread the words a small smile picked at the corners of his lips.

"I FOUND IT! I HAVE IT!" Magnus' voice thundered throughout the room startling those that were in various stages of sleep.

Alec and Isabelle were the first to lift their heads rubbing the sleep from the corners of their eyes. "What?" Alec questioned rolling his neck trying to alleviate the crick that had formed in it from falling asleep on a stack of ancient books.

"I found it! I found what can help Clary!" Magnus' eyes suddenly darted to the other side of the room where she still lay sleeping with Jace's head resting next to her still frame.

"Really? You really found it?" Isabelle was now wide awake and had joined the conversation.

"Yes," he said holding the small notebook up in the air.

"That's wonderful," Isabelle let out a heavy sigh.

"Thank God," Alec added his own stare resting on Jace and Clary. He knew that his _parabatai _wouldn't be able to take much more. "So what's next? What do we do?"

"I go to Indonesia." Magnus answered.

"Indonesia?" Alec and Isabelle parroted in unison.

"Yes."

"Why there?" Isabelle questioned.

"I can't really go into all the details but that is where I will find what I need to cure Clary."

"I'll go with you," Alec said. He knew Indonesia was the place of Magnus' birth and that it held more than a few bad memories for his lover. He didn't want him to go there alone.

"We'll both go," Isabelle chimed in.

"We don't have much time," Magnus stressed. "If I allow either of you to come with me you have to do as I tell you no matter what you might think of it. Am I making myself clear?" He wasn't sure about taking Alec or Isabelle with him but part of him found comfort in not going back to his childhood lands no matter how much time had gone by alone. "Can you do that?"

"We aren't Jace," Isabelle said.

Magnus let out a slight laugh at her comment. "True," he agreed. "Then you can join me."

"When do we leave?" Alec asked.

"As soon as we wake Jace and tell him what is happening."

"Tell me what?" Jace's voice came from behind the group.

"Magnus has found Clary's cure!" Isabelle's voice rang with enthusiasm. "We're going to Indonesia."

Jace's mind reached out for the words that Isabelle had just thrown at him. His head was still full of sleep and didn't dare believe what he had heard. "Magnus?" he turned giving the Warlock a questioning glance.

"It's true," he confirmed. "I have found what I need to take care of Clary. And yes Indonesia is where I will find it."

Adrenaline surged through Jace's veins sending him into overdrive as his nerves were suddenly on high alert. "Let's go! What are we waiting for?" he said hurrying back to the chaise lounge about ready to scoop Clary into his arms.

"Jace, stop," Magnus laid his hand on the younger man's shoulder. "There is no need to wake Clary."

"What? Why not? She needs to…."

Magnus realized what Jace was thinking and stopped him before he was able to finish his spoken thought. "We aren't taking her."

"What? I don't understand." Jace's animation all of the sudden vanished replaced with the look of defeat that had clouded his face for weeks now.

"Look at her Jace. Do you really think she's strong enough to portal to Indonesia? I can get what I need and bring it back to her." Jace ran his hand across her cheek again taking notice of her fragile state. "Trying to take her with me would be a mistake, Jace."

"When will you leave?" he asked no longer forcing the issue of Clary going as well. Looking down at Clary he knew Magnus was right. He couldn't let his need for an instant fix put her in any more jeopardy.

"As soon as I create the portal." Jace nodded. "Do you two have what you need?" Magnus asked his traveling companions.

"Yes," they answered.

The portal closed the moment Magnus and the others stepped through it leaving Jace in silence and alone with his thoughts. Doing what he could not to get his hopes up when it came to the cure Magnus had found. He had been down this road before and it had never ended in the spot he had wanted. In fact it might as well have placed him on the opposite side of the world from it.

He felt Clary stir beside him. He held his breath and waited for what would happen next. It seemed like that's all he had been doing lately watching and waiting – things that were foreign to him. "Clary," he whispered while taking her hand. He felt its warmth and tried to convince himself that the heat was merely due to the blanket that shrouded her body.

"Hmmm," she murmured.

"Clary," he said again. "Can you open your eyes for me?"

She knew the voice that spoke to her yet it sounded distant. She wanted to obey, to do what it was asking yet her lids remained tightly shut. The pull of sleep held a firm grip on her. "Clary," the voice prodded again. "Please, please love open your eyes." The sudden desperation in the voice had Clary wanting to comply.

Focusing all of her energy she peeled her lids open squinting against the bright light of day that stung her weary eyes compelling them to close once more. "Clary, Clary please stay with me," the familiar voice pressed.

"Jace?" she murmured still fighting with her unwilling lids.

"Yes, I'm right here," his voice sounded anxious.

"Where am I?" she asked as the room came more into focus.

"Magnus Bane's."

"What?" she said surprise clouding her tone.

"Simon brought you here last night. Apparently you passed out and he was unable to wake you."

Those words brought the memories springing back, the bruises, the dizziness all of it came crashing in around her. Immediately she hid her arms under the blanket trying to disguise what she knew was there, what she didn't want Jace to see.

"It's okay," he said pulling back the crushed velvet cover. "I know about the bruises. I know that I caused at least one of them."

Clary felt her heart break seeing the angst display across his features. She studied his face the shadows under his golden eyes were deeply set and the lines of continual worry were etched across his brow. She hated to cause him so much agony. "It's not your fault," she whispered reaching up to touch his cheek immediately he melted into her palm. "I'm so sorry," she said softly as she righted her body into a sitting position. The piercing pain that shot through her head caused her to wince yet she did what she could to hide its effects but the dizzying result that it produced was far more difficult to conceal.

The knot in his stomach tightened as he watched her struggling to cover up what she was experiencing. He hated that she felt the need to hide from him. What had he done to make her think that she had to do that?

"Clary, please relax," he instructed her in the calmest voice he could muster. "You have nothing to be sorry for. You're sick." The words nearly caught in his throat. "I am the one who should be sorry. Sorry for making you feel like you couldn't trust me enough to tell me how badly you were feeling." Jace was sure that Magnus would have frowned on this line of conversation yet he needed her to understand, to know that no matter what he was there for her.

"Help me sit up, please," she stressed when Jace's expression showed more than a little concern.

"Are you sure?"

"Please," she said again.

Gently reaching under her arms he pulled her upright settling her against the arm of the chaise lounge. He pulled back and found himself again in the watch and wait mode. "Can I get you anything?"

"I do trust you Jace, trust you with my life," she announced ignoring his question. "I just hate to see you like this, so worried, so unlike yourself. That's my fault. I'm the cause of these lines around your eyes," her fingers followed their deep set outline at the corners of his lashes. "The reason you haven't slept in weeks…."

"So you thought you could keep me in the dark and that would be better somehow?" he questioned.

"I thought," she paused unsure what to say next, "I thought….honestly I don't know what I thought. I just knew that if I told you I was fine and you believed me that things would go back to being okay."

"But you aren't fine and you haven't been and things most definitely aren't okay."

"I know," she agreed finally letting her head drop forward.

"Clary?" the panic inched into his voice as he reached for her.

"See that's what I'm talking about. The way your voice just sounded and how you touched me like you thought I might break. You shouldn't…"

"I shouldn't what, care about you, worry about you, love you," he added in a whisper.

"You said it yourself you were taught _'to love is to destroy and to be loved is to be destroyed'_ I'm, this is destroying you Jace!" she gasped her breathing uneven as she turned away from him and began to weep.

"Clary, look at me," he said gently bringing her eyes up to meet his. "Valentine, he was wrong! Love doesn't destroy, without it, well yes then maybe." Jace thought about the man he had once believed to be his father and Sebastian, his true son, and yes neither of them knew what it meant to give love or to be loved and indeed that had destroyed them both. "Love, it heals Clary. You healed me in ways that I didn't even realize I had been broken. I love you. Please, don't push me away. We're better together than apart."

"Jace, I'm scared," she finally admitted her hand shaking as she reached for his. At first she had been able to push aside what had been happening to her. She could come up with one reason or another for how she felt but the symptoms were increasingly getting worse and more difficult to hide

"I am too." That was the first time he had let himself ever say those words aloud. "But Magnus, he Alec and Isabelle should be back anytime now and he's going to make you well. You have to promise me though no matter what happens you won't try hiding anything from me anymore. No matter how you think I might react I want, need to know what's going on."

"I promise," she consented, "But what if what he finds this time doesn't work any better than the last time?"

"It will work," Jace said pulling her close against his chest. It has to work, he thought as he kissed the top of her head. It has to work.


	11. Chapter 10

**First I wanted to thank all of those reading this story and reviewing. I am typically a writer who tends to write epic length stories….but for this one I am doing what I can to keep it to 12 to 15 chapters max. I have the idea for the ending in my head just not sure what you all will think of it. Of if it might lend itself to a sequel. But for now I hope you all keep reading and reviewing. I love to hear what you think. Thanks again.**

Powerless: Chapter Ten

Simon stood at Magnus Bane's door poised to knock feeling an eerie sense of déjà vu. He dropped his hand for the second time steeling himself for the worst yet hoping for the best. When he had left last night, Magnus assured them that he had a handle on what was ailing Clary and that she would be better by morning.

Morning had come and gone and Simon had yet to hear from either Magnus or Alec. He couldn't shake the odd feeling that things hadn't gone as simply as Magnus had expected them to. Finally he brought his fist to the door and rapped gently on the scared wooden exterior. He shifted anxiously waiting for it to open yet was a little more than shocked at who stood before him when it did. "Jace," his once rival's name nearly stuck in his throat.

"Daylighter." Jace's tone was even however Simon couldn't miss the anger behind his eyes or the fact that Jace hadn't called him _'daylighter'_ in quite some time.

"I didn't expect to see you here," Simon foolishly said all of the sudden wishing he had just remained silent.

"I'm sure you didn't," Jace nearly growled. No matter what Clary told him about Simon's reluctance at keeping him in the dark didn't negate the fact that he had done it just the same or that all Jace wanted to do at that moment was snap his neck.

"Listen, man, I'm sorry. I should have never agreed.."

"No you shouldn't have!" Jace cut him off. "What were you thinking?"

"That if I didn't agree Clary was going to freak out. As it was she was already doing that. I didn't know what else to do. She didn't want you to know," Simon said throwing his hands up in despair.

"And you just ran with that!?" Jace's voice dripped with venom. "Loving every minute of it, right?"

Simon was quiet for a moment knowing that there was some truth to Jace's accusation and if it hadn't been for Clary's failing health he probably would have thrown it up in Jace's face but he couldn't do that. No matter what he thought of Jace Lightwood and his relationship with his best friend Simon knew that they both loved her and would do anything to protect her.

"You're wrong," he finally uttered to which Jace gave him a mocking glance. "Okay, well maybe not entirely wrong," Simon relented. "The thought of getting one over on you did momentarily cross my mind." Simon saw Jace's fist clench at his side again wishing that he had kept his mouth shut. "But you didn't see her. She was freaking out. I thought if I didn't agree to whatever she wanted that I," he paused, "I didn't know what would happen but seriously I wasn't willing to take the risk so I agreed."

Jace crossed his arms over his chest continuing to stare down the vampire whose life he saved – saved for Clary and did what he could to press down the feeling of understanding that bubbled to the surface like an emerging well. There was no denying that Clarissa Fray had a way about her, a way of getting those that loved her most to do whatever she wanted even if it went against their better judgment. However, Jace wasn't anywhere near ready to admit that to Simon Lewis.

"How is she? I want to see her," Simon pushed his feet across the threshold but Jace centered himself in the mouth of the entrance. "Jace, come on man, I am sorry," Simon's voice strained as he craned his neck to get even a slight glimpse of Clary.

"Jace," Clary's whisper of a voice pierced the silence, "It's not his fault. Let Simon in."

Simon's eyes widened with the realization that Clary was awake and talking. Magnus had saved her just as he promised that he would. Jace stepped aside allowing Simon to pass. "Clary!" he rushed forward dropping to his knees alongside where she sat. "I was so worried about you," he said his large hand swallowing her smaller one.

"I'm sorry," she said with a faint smile. "I should have never asked you….."

"It doesn't matter," Simon cut her off. "I'd do it again if you asked me to," he said without looking at Jace who had now joined them at the head of the chaise lounge.

"I know," she patted his hand. "But it was still wrong. It put you in a bad position."

"So you're okay now?" Simon gave his long time friend a good once over from head to toe. "Magnus told us he could cure…."

"Magnus and the others haven't returned," Jace said interrupting him.

"Haven't returned?" Simon gave him a puzzled look.

"Magnus, Alec and Isabelle portaled to Indonesia," Jace placed his hand on Clary's shoulder when she began to speak.

"Indonesia?"

"Yes, he…"

Jace stopped her before she could continue. "Please, don't strain yourself. Rest, I will explain to the daylight…ah I mean Simon." Jace quickly corrected as Clary gave him a warning looking.

"Yes someone please explain," Simon pressed impatiently. It was now he took notice of Clary's still bruised skin and its translucent sheen. He felt his unbeating heart sink deep into the depths of his stomach. Clary was still sick.

"The cure, or rather its ingredients can only be secured in Indonesia. Magnus and the others headed there earlier to do just that."

"Then she'll be fine?" Simon asked hesitantly. He didn't like the length of Jace's silence before answering.

"According to Magnus," he finally said unable to bring himself to say the simple word yes in response to that question.

The two young men exchanged weary looks above Clary's head each able to express their concern, apprehension – fear even without little a single word escaping into the room. But it was that fear that held Simon frozen and even more so the terror he saw reflected in the ever sure Jace Lightwood's gold eyes.

Magnus felt the knot in his stomach tighten as he walked the streets of his once homeland. Things had changed – modernized in the decades that had passed yet there was still something eerily familiar and that sent a shiver down his spine. He had vowed to never return to this place and in over eight hundred years he hadn't but there he stood mere feet from the barn, now barely a shadow of the building it had been, where his mother hung herself and his step-father had tried to kill him for what he was. The acid taste burned the back of his throat as the tattered images of events long passed stung his eyes.

"Magnus?" Alec's hand on his shoulder gently pulled him from the edge of his memories. "What is it?"

"Nothing," he said shrugging the recollections of his childhood to the side and bringing his thoughts of what needed to be done into focus.

"Are we here?" Isabelle asked anxiously.

"Nearly," Magnus answered quickly moving passed the remnants of the innocence that he had lost many lifetimes ago not allowing his eyes to be drawn back to the spot where one life ended and another had begun.

Alec sensed the tension that filled his lover's frame as they pressed forward through the heart of a town and on to a smaller village just on its outskirts. He wished that there was something he could do or say to help. The little Alec did know about Magnus' childhood life wasn't much but none of it was good.

"This is the place?" Isabelle questioned when they stopped in front of a ramshackle building whose windows were covered with a film of dust obscuring the interior.

"Glamours can be found everywhere," Magnus announced dryly.

Isabelle widened her eyes concentrating on the grubby building before them almost instantly the layers peeled away revealing a brightly decorated shop whose name was sprawled across the front windows in the land's native tongue. "Oh," Isabelle said softly.

Alec shot his sister an incredulous look as if to tell her to be quiet. "What do you need us to do?" he asked wanting to do what he could to lighten the weight he could see Magnus was shouldering.

"I just need you to wait here."

"Magnus," Alec did what he could to disguise the hurt in his voice.

"Please," the Warlock said in a low tone. "The quicker I take care of this the sooner we can get back to Clary," he said silently adding _and I get out of here._

"He's right Alec. We can't be wasting time, time Clary may not have," Isabelle offered seeing the pained expression not only her brother's face but Magnus' as well. Something told her that this was the last place The High Warlock of Brooklyn wanted to be.

"Fine," Alec relented.

"Be ready to portal the moment I return."

"We will," Isabelle assured him.

They watched as Magnus disappeared leaving the pair standing feeling very much like fish out of water. Isabelle shuffled nervously while Alec craned his neck to see where Magnus had vanished. He didn't like the thought of him being in there alone. Alec couldn't shake the feeling that at any moment something from Magnus' past would turn up and it wouldn't be good. "What's taking so long?" Alec asked to no one in particular.

"He's only been inside a few minutes," Isabelle answered.

"I know but I have a terrible feeling about this."

Isabelle resisted the urge to roll her eyes thinking what was with the men in her life lately and all their _bad_ feelings. She did what she could though not to focus on the fact that Jace's 'bad feeling' had been right on the money because if she did that then she would have to lend credence to Alec's as well and she certainly didn't want to that especially not in the middle of some strange land in which it was obvious that Magnus Bane had a past he wanted to keep dead and buried.

"What is this place?" Isabelle finally questioned unable to handle the silence that was suddenly deafening.

"My best guess is something dealing with the occult," Alec answered as he struggled to make out the foreign words stretching across the panes of glass in front of them.

"The Clave," Isabelle began.

"Since when have you cared about The Clave?" Alec countered interrupting her but before he could hear his sister's answer Magnus came dashing to the street as if the devil himself was at his heels.

"We have to go NOW!" he shouted and began running without waiting to see if his traveling companions were following him or not. Blue sparks flared from his fingertips and before them opened a portal that closed as quickly as it had appeared the minute the threesome jetted through it landing them all in the middle of the living room in Magnus' Brooklyn flat with Jace, Simon and Clary all staring at them with taken aback expressions clouding their features.


End file.
